I have few laments over having a very large family. You know what my biggest thing is? Boxes, stereotypes or any other assumption some people (thankfully not ALL people....) might make about "all large families".
I'm not blind. I know there are people who seem to think: "All large families" essentially neglect their children. "All large families" make the older children raise the younger children. "All large families" are poor. "All large families"_____________ (fill in the blank).
Let's see if I can explain this.....while it bugs me that some people make wildly erroneous statements about "all large families", it also bugs me when people toot their own horns. This leaves me with a quandary. I could sit here trying to correct inaccuracies by trying to explain that in *my* situation none of the examples above are true. However....people are going to think what people are going to think.
So, that out of the way, I can mention this morning I've been googling pediatric dentistry. Big. heavy. sigh.
Last evening, we were visiting friends, and I nearly exhausted myself trying to ensure Clay survived the evening sitting around the campfire. He toddles around SO MUCH. He toddles. I chase. He never did toddle into the fire. Score.
As a mother I face a myriad small decisions along the way as I care for my children. I'm all too acutely aware that by granting some small permission when I should've said no might bring harm to my child. And saying "no" too often might confine my children to dull, but safe, existences. It's a fine line that all caring mothers walk.
Anyhow, while I safely maneuvered my smallest child through an evening sitting around a campfire, I did grant permission for same said child to ride in a small wagon....which in my mind was a good thing because it was getting him away from the fire for a while. Momentarily I was relieved of the evening's constant worry of him getting accidentally burned. Momentarily I could turn my attention to a little adult conversation.
Momentarily.
Who knew the dumb wagon would tip and somehow manage to chip my baby's tooth????????
ARghHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
The pediatric dentistry sites are only serving to confirm what I already suspected. Repairs on little teeth like this are often for the cosmetic satisfaction of the parents. Babies don't mind looking like beat up waifs. All things considering, is a cosmetic procedure worth forcibly holding a small child like this down in a dentist chair for as long as it takes? They say these repairs in small children often fail, to boot, because they fall so much anyhow; they're bound to knock it off again.
I must say, my own comfort is somewhat at stake in this matter. Ever nurse a baby with a chipped tooth? I hadn't either until now. I wasn't really planning on weaning him....so....oh boy. Decisions, decisions.
Never mind that I practically hover over this child and the other 12 children (though with my older children, not so much!), trying to make their lives both enjoyable AND safe.
Never mind that I spend an exorbitant amount of energy trying to personally shoulder the responsibility to make the right call moment by moment, all the while trying NOT to be the overly worrisome mother.
Never mind that I seriously am sad over a little bitty piece of missing tooth.
Never mind that I'm particularly sensitive to boxes and stereotypes.
Never mind that people are going to see my child and/or pictures of my child and maybe lump me into some category with negligent mothers who don't pay enough attention to their children and I can't/won't defend myself.
Pride comes in many forms, they say. So, hey, if the best thing for my child is to forego a cosmetic repair, then I guess I'll have to just swallow my pride and let people think what they'll think.
It's true, I can't be every where at all times. And even when I'm RIGHT there, these children of mine still seem to find plenty of opportunity to maim themselves right before my very eyes.
~Colleen
